Courtship is not just about romance, dates, and sweet conversations—it’s a season of serious preparation for marriage. The Bible says: “For which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it?” (Luke 14:28).
Too many marriages fail because couples never had honest conversations before saying “I do.” Courtship is not for pretending; it’s for planning. It’s the time to ask hard questions, uncover truths, and build a solid foundation for a godly, lasting marriage.
10 Simple But Powerful Questions You Must Ask Your Partner in Courtship
Here are 10 simple but powerful questions you should ask your partner in courtship:
1. Are You Born Again?
This is the foundation of everything. Marriage is not just a social contract—it’s a spiritual covenant. If you and your partner don’t share the same spiritual father (Jesus Christ), you are building on shaky ground.
“Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers.” – 2 Corinthians 6:14
If Christ is not Lord of both lives, your values, decisions, and vision will always clash. Don’t ignore this question—it determines the destiny of your union.
READ MORE: 5 Powerful Prayers Every Single Christian Should Be Praying (Whether Searching or Not)
2. What Is Your Vision in Life?
Vision gives direction. Without it, marriage drifts. Don’t settle for vague answers like “I just want to be comfortable.” Ask your partner what they see themselves doing in the next 10–20 years.
Is it ministry? Business? Philanthropy? Leadership? Whatever it is, clarity is key. If you can’t align with their vision, better to part ways now than fight it later.
“Write the vision and make it plain on tablets, that he may run who reads it.” – Habakkuk 2:2
3. Which Church Will We Attend After Wedding?
Church plays a huge role in spiritual growth and marital covering. If you cannot stand each other’s church or pastor, it will create endless fights. Agree early on where your spiritual home will be.
“They continued steadfastly in the apostles’ doctrine and fellowship, in the breaking of bread, and in prayers.” – Acts 2:42
4. How Much Do You Earn?
Money is one of the leading causes of divorce. Transparency in finances is non-negotiable. Don’t assume—ask. Income affects lifestyle, responsibilities, and future planning.
5. What Are Your Financial Plans?
It’s not just about what you earn now, but what you plan to do with it. Will they invest, diversify, save, or just spend recklessly? Marriage needs a growth mindset financially, not stagnation.
“The plans of the diligent lead surely to abundance.” – Proverbs 21:5
READ ALSO: 10 Money Habits You Need to Learn Before 30 (Especially If You’re Nigerian)
6. Have You Been Sexually Active in the Past?
Sexual history matters. It helps you understand expectations, possible struggles, and healing that may be needed. Secrets here can become bombs later.
Remember, this is not for condemnation but for clarity and preparation.
7. What Are Your Sexual Expectations?
Many marriages suffer because partners never discussed this. Ask: Do you believe in variety in the bedroom? How do you define sexual satisfaction? These conversations prevent frustration, infidelity, and unmet needs later.
“Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and likewise also the wife to her husband.” – 1 Corinthians 7:3
8. What Is Your Love Language?
Everyone gives and receives love differently—through words of affirmation, acts of service, gifts, quality time, or physical touch. Knowing your partner’s love language prevents unnecessary conflict.
“Above all things have fervent love for one another, for love will cover a multitude of sins.” – 1 Peter 4:8
9. What Can I Ever Do That Will Make You Divorce Me?
While God hates divorce (Malachi 2:16), some actions can shatter trust completely—like infidelity, violence, or abuse. Ask early so you know their boundaries and non-negotiables.
10. What Are Your Family Planning Goals?
Children are a blessing, but lack of planning can turn blessings into burdens. Discuss how many children you want, spacing, and parenting styles. Unity in this area saves future conflicts.
“Be fruitful and multiply; fill the earth and subdue it.” – Genesis 1:28
Final Thoughts
Courtship is not just for fun—it’s for asking serious questions, planning, and building a solid foundation for marriage. The answers you get will determine whether you are truly compatible or just infatuated.
Don’t rush. Don’t assume. Don’t ignore red flags. Successful marriages are not accidents—they are intentionally built.
Talk deeply now, so you can live joyfully later.
God bless you as you build towards a glorious marriage!
~ Seun Oladele
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