Marriage is one of God’s most beautiful gifts to humanity, designed as a covenant, not just a contract. It is meant to reflect Christ’s relationship with the Church (Ephesians 5:25-27). Yet, many marriages today struggle and even collapse—not because marriage itself is faulty, but because couples fail to follow biblical principles that sustain it.
Below are 16 biblical reasons why marriages fail, with scripture references to guide us toward wisdom and restoration.
16 Biblical Reasons Why Marriages Fail
1. Lack of Friendship in Marriage
Marriage is more than the titles husband and wife. Without friendship, couples can grow apart and live as roommates instead of companions. Friendship makes marriage enjoyable and builds intimacy beyond duty.
“One who has unreliable friends soon comes to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.” – Proverbs 18:24
2. Wrong Motives for Marriage
When marriage is entered into for social status, age pressure, financial gain, or mere sexual desire, it rarely lasts. God weighs motives, and He desires marriages built on covenant love and responsibility.
“All a person’s ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the LORD.” – Proverbs 16:2
3. Lust and Carnality
If a marriage is based only on physical attraction, it lacks a foundation of godly love. Looks fade, but spiritual and emotional bonds sustain.
“The mind governed by the flesh is death, but the mind governed by the Spirit is life and peace.” – Romans 8:6
4. Lack of Preparedness
Jesus taught us to count the cost before starting any venture. Many marriages collapse because couples fail to prepare spiritually, emotionally, and financially.
“Suppose one of you wants to build a tower. Won’t you first sit down and estimate the cost…?” – Luke 14:28-30
5. Lack of Vision
A marriage without vision lacks direction. Vision inspires teamwork, focus, and resilience during trials.
“Where there is no vision, the people perish.” – Proverbs 29:18
6. Lack of Knowledge
Many prepare for careers but neglect learning about marriage. Understanding God’s blueprint for family prevents unnecessary destruction.
“My people are destroyed from lack of knowledge.” – Hosea 4:6
7. Gender Wars and Role Confusion
Some marriages are ruined by unhealthy power struggles—men feeling entitled, women feeling unstoppable, and both competing instead of complementing. In Christ, we are partners, not rivals.
“There is neither Jew nor Gentile… nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” – Galatians 3:28
READ MORE: 5 Powerful Prayers Every Single Christian Should Be Praying (Whether Searching or Not)
8. Lack of Understanding of True Love
Many couples enter marriage with brokenness, unhealed wounds, and misconceptions about love. True love is patient, forgiving, and selfless. Without it, marriages suffocate under selfishness.
“Love is patient, love is kind… Love never fails.” – 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
9. Listening to Too Many Voices
Some marriages collapse because couples listen to external influences—parents, friends, media, or even exes—instead of building their own covenant.
“For God is not the author of confusion, but of peace.” – 1 Corinthians 14:33
10. Sexual Indiscipline
Infidelity, pornography, and flirtation outside the marriage bed poison intimacy and trust. Marriage requires sexual purity and faithfulness.
“Then when lust has conceived, it gives birth to sin; and when sin is accomplished, it brings forth death.” – James 1:15
11. Disjointed Growth
When one spouse grows spiritually, emotionally, or financially while the other remains stagnant, disconnection occurs. Marriage thrives when both grow together.
“Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” – Amos 3:3
12. Blessings Turned Burdens
Children, careers, and success are blessings, but if mismanaged, they can distract couples from each other. Prioritizing marriage keeps blessings from becoming threats.
“You say, ‘I am rich… But you do not realize that you are wretched, pitiful, poor, blind and naked.” – Revelation 3:17
13. Lack of Patience
Marriage is a journey of growth. Couples who quit too quickly never experience the beauty of transformation.
“He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion…” – Philippians 1:6
14. Unresolved Issues and Bitterness
Small issues left unresolved grow into mountains of resentment. Forgiveness must be practiced daily.
“Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry.” – Ephesians 4:26
15. Overspiritualization of Marriage
Prayer is vital, but ignoring romance, laughter, and companionship kills intimacy. Some elevate pastors or spiritual activities above their spouse, creating distance.
“Seek first the kingdom of God… and all these things shall be added unto you.” – Matthew 6:33
16. Individualism and Ego
Marriage is about “we,” not “me.” Pride, selfishness, and competition destroy unity, but mutual submission strengthens it.
“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” – Ephesians 5:21
Conclusion
Marriage is God’s covenant, meant to reflect His love and faithfulness. It fails not because marriage is flawed, but because couples neglect God’s principles. By embracing friendship, love, knowledge, vision, purity, and humility, couples can build lasting marriages that honor Christ.
If your marriage is struggling, go back to the Word. Heal, forgive, and rebuild with God at the center. What He joins together, no one should put asunder (Mark 10:9).
